It is Valentine’s Day tomorrow! A day that we mostly associate with lots of red, love, romantic dinners or lunches, flowers, chocolate and beautifully written cards and notes to and from loved ones. As a singleton going on her second year as a resident of Single-ville, I can say that this will be just another working day for me. Am I sad about it? Nope! I entered Single-ville on a stretcher after having my heart broken into a million pieces. I have decided to use this “recovery period” to pour love into myself because I have learnt that there is no kind of love quite like self-love. Having been drained by a bad breakup, this was a very important thing for me to learn and do. Of course, it would be nice to receive flowers and my favourite chocolate, but that’s not happening so I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t feel sorry for myself, instead, I’ll focus on pouring my time, love and focus into re-energising myself. How do I achieve this? It starts with kindness; because often we are our own biggest critics. I’m being a lot kinder to myself and making it a habit to treat myself better, more often. It’s called self-care. Self-care doesn’t mean that I’m frequenting the spa every two weeks (even though I’d love to), it means that I’m doing the following more often:
- Less comparing myself to others, because “comparison is the thief of joy”-and I truly agree with this statement.
- I’m trying to be more conscious of when I’m being unkind to myself, especially when it comes to my thoughts.
- Removing myself from people and situations that can potentially threaten my sense of peace-this is an on-going exercise because you never know where the chaos will come from and when-at work, family or even an annoying person in the queue at the grocery store.
- I book myself in-stay at home and watch marathons or reruns of my favourite T.V shows and try not to overcommit myself. This has preserved my sanity and it has been lighter on my pocket.
- I live in a beautiful neighbourhood and I take advantage of that by taking walks a lot more often now.
- Cutting myself some slack- so often we dwell too much on past mistakes and things we’ve done wrong or have no control over. Letting go is easier said than done but it is possible.
- I no longer over extend myself to make other people comfortable or happy at my expense.
- Last but definitely the change that has been most crucial; eating much healthier! This has been an enormous positive change for me as I have put my body through so, so much in the past. After evaluating my bad eating habits and an embarrassingly low water intake, I made the decision to change my life style and go on a cleanse, I cut out the following: red meat, junk food, refined sugar, salt, caffeine (the coffee in this office is addictive), bread (I do miss the toasted cheese sandwiches) and alcohol. It wasn’t easy, especially on weekends or when I’m out with friends but I refused to give in and feel like a failure. If I didn’t see it through I’d never know of the amazing benefits and positive results. Not only are my skin, hair, nails and body happy about this decision, but I’m happier inside too. I do have “emergency days” (read as cheat days), but I’m making sure that they don’t lead me back to my old eating habits. I have embraced this new healthy lifestyle and now love it just like it loves me!
All these changes haven’t been easy or something that just happened overnight. In fact, these are parts of my life that are a constant work in progress that I am happy to be working on every day. I believe that me being emotionally, physically and spiritually full means that I can now pour love into other things and loved ones. Traditionally, February is the month of love and Valentine’s Day is a day of love (both represent love that is perceived as “romance between two people”), but if you’re single like me this doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate in your own special way. This also doesn’t mean that no one wants to be with you, or that you’re undesirable, it just means that it’s just not the time, yet.
PS. Flowers and chocolate welcome at:
61 Barkston Drive
Blairgowrie
Randburg
xoxo
South Africa
USA